The Talk
by Indiel
Summary: Jess & Becker have been dating for 3 months and since Jess has no brothers and her dad lives far away Connor decides to give Becker his own version of 'The Talk' however things don't go to plan.


**Disclaimer – Don't own it.**

**The idea popped into my head and threatened to camp out there until I wrote it down, so I did. And here it is!**

**The Talk**

"Jess?" Connor asked, wandering up to the ADD.

"Yes?" Jess asked suspiciously, Connor only used that tone of voice when he wanted something. She'd heard him use it countless times on Abby.

"I was just wondering, how long have you and Soldier Boy been dating?"

"Three months. Again, why?" She span in her chair to face him now, curiosity etched into her face.

"No reason. And do you have any brothers?"

Jess eyed him suspiciously "No." She drew out the word "I'm an only child."

"And where'd your parents live?" He leant on the desk, concentrating on her answers like they held the key to everything.

"Australia." Jess for the life of her couldn't see where this was heading.

"So, that would include your dad?" His eyes widened innocently. Jess didn't trust him one bit.

"Yes. My dad is generally classed under the heading of 'my parents'." She said in a 'duh' voice.

"You've been spending too much time with Lester. His sarcasm is rubbing off on you." He said before pushing off the desk, grabbing his skateboard (which he'd left on the ground near his feet) and wandering off again. Jess stared after him, confused for a moment before shaking her head and continuing with her work.

"Matt?" Connor asked, wandering into Matt's office.

"What do you want Connor?" Matt asked, not even looking up from his laptop.

"You don't know where Becker is do you?" He said dropping his skateboard to the ground.

At this Matt's head jerked up "He's not in the armoury?" Shock weaving its way into his thick Irish accent.

"No, that was the first place I checked."

"And you checked the locker rooms? Oh, and don't leave your skateboard there Connor, someone will trip on it, most likely you." He pointed to it and didn't stop until Connor picked it up and tucked it under his arm.

"No." Connor said. "I'll go check there."

Just as he turned to leave Matt called to him "Why do you want to know anyway?" Connor strolled back in with a smirk on his face.

"Well." He drawled "I thought Jess and Becker had been going out long enough..."

"Yes?" Matt asked, now incredibly suspicious

"And Jess doesn't have any brothers, and her dad lives the other side of the planet so..." Matt was starting to see where this was going

"And?" he prompted, already guessing the answer.

"I thought it was time to sit Becker down and give him the 'talk'."

"The sex talk?" Matt asked "I'm pretty sure Becker's already heard it, most likely from his own dad."

"No!" Connor yelped "But that's not a bad idea, could be interesting." He considered before snapping out of that train of thought "The overprotective talk, you know, 'hurt her and I'll hurt you'."

"You're going to threaten Becker?" Matt asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you about that, but I forgot. I need someone else there who he can't threaten back without losing his job, I would ask Lester but, I don't think he'd be willing..."

"And you think I would?"

"Well, more likely than Lester aren't you?"

"I suppose. And it would be rather interesting to watch."

"So you'll do it?"

"I'll probably regret it but sure."

"Great."

The two of them heading towards the locker rooms, but seeing as nobody was there they backtracked to the armoury, guessing Becker had gone back.

As they entered they passed Lester on his way out. Both parties stopped at the sight of each other. Matt and Connor shot Lester identically confused looks while Lester just coughed awkwardly and adjusted his tie before he walked off.

Matt and Connor looked at each other, shrugged, then proceeded into the armoury. And there, in the middle of the room, stood Becker.

Once again Matt and Connor froze. Becker looked shocked, _embarrassed, _and slightly scared. Connor wondered if the World was going to end. Action Man? Scared? Then Connor realised the World almost did end a couple weeks ago. Maybe they hadn't been as successful as Connor originally thought.

"Action Man?" Connor waved his hand in front of Becker's face before Matt could restrain him. Becker just looked at Connor with the same shock he had before.

"Becker?" Matt whispered "Are you okay?" He wasn't having a go at Temple, something was seriously wrong.

Becker just nodded, slightly meekly in Matt's opinion.

"We came to give you 'the talk'" Connor said proudly, but then ducked behind Matt waiting for Becker's reaction. Nothing came.

"Too late." Becker scoffed quietly but Matt and Connor heard.

"Who else would-" Matt started but then remembered Lester just leaving the armoury "Lester?" Matt gasped. Becker just nodded again.

"I knew he felt slightly fatherly over Jess, especially since the future predator fiasco but I never thought-." Becker trailed off.

"_Lester_ gave you the over protective talk about _you and Jess_." Connor started laughing "He didn't give you the sex talk while he was at it?" Connor said jokingly.

"Get out!" Becker suddenly said, pointing angrily towards the door.

"Oh. My. God! He did!" Connor exclaimed. The Captain's ears were slowly turning red.

"Lester gave you the sex talk!" Matt choked out through his laughter. He would have to ask Jess if she could get him footage of it.

Matt and Connor started laughing and didn't stop until Becker kicked them out. Once both men had regained control and Connor had finished wiping tears from his eyes.

"You know," Matt said "I think I've gained some more respect for Lester."

"He made Becker _blush!_" Connor said like a little kid a Christmas "I wish I'd gotten a photo."

They both looked at each other before exclaiming "Jess!" And started running towards the Main Ops room.

**It didn't quite end the way I was expecting. In the original version you actually heard 'the talk' and it was Connor and Matt. Hmmm. Should I add a second chapter of the footage then, so you can hear what was actually said? Or should I leave it to rot and decay.**

**Reviews because Lester made Becker **_**blush**_**. And if that isn't worth a knighthood... well, it's definitely worth a review.**


End file.
